


(Un)real

by KaisonSnow (TyStark13)



Series: Drabbles [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brainwashed Bucky Barnes, Broken Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Gen, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Torture, Imprisonment, Internal Monologue, Memory Loss, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, loss of consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4452950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyStark13/pseuds/KaisonSnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You feel a memory nagging in the back of your mind. A man. But his face blurred a long time ago."</p><p>Or</p><p>The Winter Soldier wants to be free.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Un)real

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. I wrote this in May, during a class, without the intent to post it. After finding it and re-reading it I noticed that this loosely fitted Bucky. And now I'm posting it.

Are you sure you wanna be known? Are you sure you want your secrets to be all spilled? Exposed to the world? Are you sure you want to feel naked and bare? To feel paranoid and anxious because you don't know if you'll be able to create another identity? To hide yourself again? Because the second they know, they'll ravish the world to find you. And when they do, you can kiss your life ( _freedom_ ) goodbye. They will never let you go again. You'll become their property. They'll do all sorts of things to you. And none of them will be the tiniest bit pleasant. You'll find yourself begging for them to take your life, in a blink of an eye. You'll go insane. The madness will take over you.

Now, let's imagine, they, somehow, let you go. Where will you go? Who will you run to? However, the crucial question is: Who _can_ you run to? You've always been alone. You've always lived alone. You have no one. Even if you did, who would take you in? In the state you are, besides not even being glanced at, you lost your ability to socialize. When did you last have a proper conversation with someone? One that didn't involve pain, screams and blood? You don't know. You feel a memory nagging in the back of your mind. A man. But his face blurred a long time ago. Is it real? Or did you just imagine it? Dreamt it, maybe? You think you lost the ability to dream. You don't know. You don't know anything. Everything hurts. You can't think straight. "Please...", you whisper. Please, what? What are you begging ( _pleading_ ) for, this time? Everything and nothing at the same time.

You go back to them. You crawl back into their arms. They're the only reality you know. At least, they insist on it. And once again, they succeed. They got you where they want you. So, next time they ask you: "Do you want to leave?", you force yourself to open your mouth and choke out a barely audible "No." Yet, what they can't hear is all the noise in your head. So many screams. However, your only focus is on that little voice at the very back - a man's voice -, that firmly says "Yes." Again, you don't know whether you're imagining it or not.

Once more, you fall onto the floor, not knowing if you'll wake up again.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is more than welcome. :)


End file.
